Beginnings

12-04-07

This is my attempt at a prayer journal/bible study. I've tried it a million different times in a lot of different ways and failed. I'm hoping this one succeeds, if nothing more than to get my thoughts down on my relationship with God.

So where am I at? I have a blessed life. A wonderful wife. A beautiful baby boy. A house. A dog. A secure job. A great church. Financially secure. Friends, family, etc.

What's missing? Well, that dream of being a published authror has yet to come to fruition. The house could use some repairs, then could use a few months of NOT needing repairs. I feel a sense of despair at the way I spend my time at work and at home.
The answer to that last problem, I think, comes in the form of a paradigm. I've struggled with having the right frame of mind for my entire life. How am I supposed to view things? Whats the right attitude?

I think I'm trying to shift paradigms, from "God, how can I make what I want work for you.." to "God, what do you want me to do." I've tried to create a life and dreams and priorities that feel comfy and safe and good. I think God has his own designs.

What if my life wasnt about writing the next great book or influencing thousands, but just being a good husband and father? I think thats it, really. Ive struggled with that idea for a while, and now im open, trying, to center my life around selflessness.

So hopefully each journal will be a reflection of the journey.
Today, I lift up the following prayers
For my wife, that we continue to share our wonderful marriage and build each other up. that i look for ways to encourage her and strengthen her in her walk with christ.
My boy. That he grows to be a Godly man, but that i am able to provide for him and give him a blessed childhood.
My father and mother, for their health.
my sister and the soon-to-be new niece or nephew
that i am a good influence at work
that i use my time wisely.
in these things i pray, amen